What is Emotional Intelligence?
EI / EQ is an individual’s ability to effectively perceive, understand, and manage emotions. Unlike regular intelligence (IQ), emotional intelligence is an ability that can be improved through increased awareness and a commitment to change.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to get optimal results from your relationships with yourself and others.
|What I See||What I Do|
|Personal Competence||Self- Awareness||Self- Management|
|Social Competence||Social Awareness||Relationship Management|
Your ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen and understand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations.
Using your awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do – to positively direct your behavior.
Recognizing and understanding the emotions and moods of other individuals and entire groups of people.
Using self-awareness, self-management and social awareness as you relate to other people for specific purposes over time and manage interactions successfully. This includes clear communication and effectiveness in handling conflict.
Scientists have put a lot of time and effort into researching EQ in recent years and the effect it can have on your success. What they’ve discovered is that a person’s EQ is a much more reliable indicator of their potential for success than their IQ is.
Daniel Goleman saw emotional intelligence as a vital factor in success, especially for children. He proposed that promoting “social and emotional learning” in children to boost their emotional intelligence would not only improve their learning abilities, it would also help them succeed in school by reducing or eliminating some of the most distracting and harmful behavioral problems (Goleman, n.d.)
IQ vs. EQ: Who wins?
Simply put, your IQ is just your brain’s processing power.
It does not predict your future, nor does it tell anything about your past. It doesn’t take into account your heart, your drive, or your gumption — the real things that success requires.
In fact, there are many geniuses who have had little success in their career, business, and life.
There are also people with perfectly average IQs that have gone on to huge success.
Whereas IQ is something we’re born with and doesn’t really change much over time, you can RAISE your EQ.
EQ benefits, a person with High EQ:
- Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with “I feel…”
- Doesn’t disguise thoughts as feelings by the use of “I feel like….” and “I feel that….” sentences.
- Is not afraid to express her feelings.
- Is not dominated by negative emotions such as: Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness, Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
- Reads non-verbal communication.
- Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
- Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
- Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
- Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
- Is intrinsically motivated.
- Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
- Is emotionally resilient.
- Tends to feel optimistic, yet also realistic – can feel pessimistic at times.
- Does not internalize failure.
- Is interested in other people’s feelings.
- Is comfortable talking about feelings.
- Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
- Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.
What can I do to raise my EI?
- The first step is to identify your own emotions. (Use the feeling word list below to help you.)
- Take responsibility for them. (This is much harder.)
- Learn what compassion and empathy are. (This is much easier if you have taken the first two steps; impossible if you haven’t!)
- Read books on emotions. (Consult the mind, body & soul section of any good book shop.)
- Get involved with learning, Continuous Professional Development or other networks.
- Find a quiet place/time to express your feelings. Keep a feeling journal.
- Read emotional literature, watch emotional movies, label the feelings being acted out. (Soaps are a good source for the full continuum of human emotions!)
- Avoid people who invalidate you.
Using the emotional intelligence skills you’ll learn during coaching sessions, you’ll gain the ability to more appropriately respond to the world around you and eliminate the stress and frustration that often comes from working with others
All it takes is a bit of self-awareness and personal development training. So book now your session to learn how to RAISE your EQ .